And we're back.
Last year, my Mayercraft roomies and I wrote a list of the Top 10 Crazy Mayercraft Fans as soon as we got off the boat. We sat in the Miami airport and laughed about the crazy John Mayer fans that had been on our trip with us. While it gave me a few moments of guilt, I stand by that list, simply because there truly were some crazy people out there.
The good news about this year? We don't have a list of the top crazies!
(This could also be considered bad news for those of you out there who were waiting with baited breath to hear about the nutty escapades of this year, but trust me when I say this actually is good news.)
It seemed like there was a much better balance on the boat this time around - of course there were hardcore John Mayer fans - but the rest of the people on board were just into the music and having a good trip.
There were three types of people who stood out, however, and they will now be detailed.
1) The tools. There were WAY more of these fellows this time around! We were actually shocked at the higher number of (single?) men on the boat this year. Unfortunately, a vast majority of them were douchebags. You would see them roaming the decks, beer in hand, flexing their fake tanned biceps. They would often be wearing sleeveless t-shirts with their fraternity's logo embroidered on the front, were rarely seen outside of their pack, and were too cool to really get into the music with any movement more than a head bob.
2) The cougars. I find it incredibly hard to believe how many 40+ women were on that boat to track and mate with John Mayer. They were inspired by John Mayer's last relationship with an older woman and came on the trip with the false hope of seducing him. Perfectly coiffed hair (at least till they went outdoors into the wind and humidity), short dress to show off their tummy tucks, and heavy eye makeup made them easy to spot. They would drink wine, sigh heavily, and try to look disinterested and coy at the same time at the idea of meeting John Mayer. Also? A good number of them were douchebags in addition to being cougars. And, as Shosh stated: Cougar + douchebag = couchebag.
3) The rushers. These ladies were evident en mass last year, too. You remember them. The ones who would wander aimlessly looking for John Mayer in their Saturday night best. They wore heels on the rocking ship, always had perfect makeup, and actually made futile efforts to do something with their hair. When the word would get out about where John Mayer was at that precise moment, they would rush to that location, entering in waves to try and get his attention and win his heart.
Prime example? The photo below is from John Mayer's website - it was taken by a friend of his while he was DJ-ing. Notice how they are standing seductively or posing, but not dancing? Yes. A clear sign of a "rusher" would be the woman who is standing static on a dance floor while music is pumping.
To be honest, I struggled with this post a little - residuals of that Catholic guilt my mom tried to avoid instilling in me, perhaps?? I feel just a little bit like an asshole. But, I also feel like some of these people probably weren't aware of their behavior. And maybe, just maybe, through the irritation of a fellow music lover and John Mayer fan, they will correct their behavior for the next cruise.
Ha. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?
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4 comments:
Ugh, those girls drive me crazy. The ones that just stand in their pretty pose waiting for someone to notice them..
Love your blogs.
How do you know how many people looked at your blog? People post stats all the time and I never know where they are getting them from - I NEVER check stats on anything, haha, but would be interested to know sometimes.
And those people won't change - EVERYONE who performs has people like that - the numbers are WAY LESS, but they are there. It's how I got the nickname The Sheriff in the music world - having to lay down the law with those crazies!
Ohmygod...you actually said it ;)
I just couldn't. However, I'm glad you did.
I was glad there were more guys. Granted, most seemed to be douches, but there were some guys who were really nice (at least, on the very superficial small-talk level). I did have one who started chatting me up even before the cruise started. I figured maybe he was just being friendly. However, no because I ran into him at a bar after OSE charity concert. Then he chatted me up in person and I had to admit, no, it wasn't that he was just being friendly. I was pleasant when I saw him but always kept it moving. Then one night I'd brought sneakers in my tote with me to the club. That way I didn't have to double back to my cabin, which was on the other end of the ship. I'd left my tote with a friend who was sitting at the edge of the dance floor. I bent over to take off my heels and, I swear, the dude mounted me from behind and said I ought to stop playing hard to get. Yeah, from that point it was "impossible" to get. Oy vey! he.had.no.game.
I also had two run-ins with couchebags. I told you about one when we hung out that night. There was another. Next year I'm going to bring some 'Coucheaway' mace to keep them at a distance. In four days I had to tell two ridiculously entitled older women to shut their mouths, mind their business and go on their way. Yeah, there were a lot of them on that boat.
As for the people standing on the dance floor all transfixed on the DJ box, it wasn't a surprise. It was just a bit sad that they were just so transfixed by a guy they'd seen a few times already to dance.
Eh, better them than me ;)
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