Saturday, August 30, 2008

Graceful as a swan (dive).

Or, why Labor Day will now always be known to my friends as the anniversary of "The Chili's Incident."

A year ago this weekend I was getting ready to leave for Montreal to see my lovely friend Clara. I went for 5 days and hated Montreal, but loved visiting my friend. But the reason I'm posting is to share with you one of the more embarrassing things I've ever done.

It was the Sunday before Labor Day, and some friends decided to put together a casual dinner at Chili's. The casual dinner turned into a large group of about 20, and we ended up getting one of those super long booths that is open on both sides.

I was the first to start climbing across, with it not occurring to me that it might be easier to just walk around to the other side. 3/4 of the way across, I thought to myself, hmmm I think Sean should sit on the outside of the booth. I turned around to tell him so, caught my right toe and flip flop on the crease of the leather seat, slammed my knee against the edge of the booth as I failed to catch my balance, and promptly plummeted directly onto the slate floor, face first.

Totally ate shit.

I think my head actually may have bounced.

Anywho, I hit my head really hard above my right eyebrow, cranked my neck in an unnatural way, and banged up my knee and foot as well... and it was supremely embarrassing.

Everyone in the restaurant stopped what they were doing, to look at me in shock. Once they had determined that I was able to stand, walk, and be embarrassed, there was laughter. Because, come on. It's funny when you watch someone completely eat it onto the ground.

Sean checked me for a concussion, got me some ice, and I hobbled to the ladies' room to check out the damage. Where I discovered the ginormous lump on my forehead. Which then turned into a black eye. That covered half my face. Ok, not half my face, but a lot.

I managed to get mostly through dinner, eyes watering from pain, melting ice dripping all over me. On my second trip to the bathroom, I locked myself in the stall so that I could let myself cry a little, and had a little pity party for myself that was amplified by the group of women who came in discussing my fall.

Woman 1: Oh my god, did you see that girl fall?
Woman 2: Yes! I was so embarrassed for her!

I stayed in the stall until they left, mostly because I didn't want them to know I'd overheard and also because I was still a bit woozy.

The next few days, as well as my trip to Montreal, were filled with strange glances and sympathetic grimaces. I recovered, my pride only slightly dented that I hadn't even been drunk at the time of my mishap, and I learned to love the permanent indentation I now have just above my right eyebrow.

Here is the photographic proof of my clumsiness.

This one was taken the morning after the fall, when the
black eye was just beginning to form. Notice the lump?

This one I took the day before I travelled to Montreal, by
myself, through International customs. People sure did
get out of my way!

So basically, the moral of my story? Go around the booth, instead of climbing though. And also, pay attention to where you're going, so you don't end up looking like an abuse victim.

What is the most embarrassing way you've ever hurt yourself in public?


Alex said...

Most embarrassing injury that I can think of - I agreed to play keep-away with a flashlight (that wasn't turned on) in the dark, and I caught it with my forehead. People told me they didn't actually see what happened, but they heard the crack against my skull and a small groan as I hit the ground.
I'm tagging you for blog day too!

Nilsa S. said...

You poor thing. Oh my! Well, to make things better this Labor Day weekend, check out my blog today (Sunday) for some bloggy love.

pomjob said...

Aww! I'm in the not-so-graceful boat with you (although if I was actually in a boat with you, we'd probably end up in the water). Early this summer I fell flat on my face in front of a group of coworkers and reporters. And in college, I drunkenly tripped over a crack in the concrete porch and fell face-first into the concrete steps. That hurt like a mother and left scar tissue that took YEARS to go away. (Found you via Jamie at Oh! How Lovely.)

PrincessB said...

Holy crap! You poor thing!

I took a header right after I moved here. I was out with m upstairs neighbor and his friend and we were climbing over a guardrail and I caught my foot and fell on my face. Classy. Same lesson. Walk AROUND the object not over it.

Nanette said...


I gave myself a black eye in the 5th grade while playing Russian baseball (they used a volleyball instead of a baseball). I didn't swing the aluminum bat hard enough, so it just bounced off the ball and hit me in the temple.

lifeintheleftlane said...

Oh man that's awful! You've read about my clumsy stories. It sucks (and hurts) being clumsy! =)