Top 10 CRAZY Mayercraft Carrier fans! (Revisited)

Another blog I'm bringing over from the MySpace - but this one has been slightly re-vamped. Maybe it's hindsight, or maybe I'm just in a sappy mood (instead of a caustic one), but I felt like there should be a few adjustments made to my previous blog. Plus, I thought about what I would feel like if someone wrote about me, and I would cry. And I don't think I'd like to make someone cry. Anyway... Away we go!

It's here! It's here! Here is the list that Shosh, Jenno, Ceci and I came up with (in the Miami airport, no less) of our top 10 crazy John Mayer fans on Mayercraft 2008! Please keep in mind I mean no malice by this list, I just wanted to share some of our crazy adventures.

10. The Cutting Women - I don't know that these women qualify as crazy JOHN MAYER fans, but they made me so angry they got on the list anyway. They basically were these two married, middle aged women who tried to get tickets to the Sunday night show by flirting with a man and his 17 year old son. Skanks! And on top of that, they said that the reason they wanted to go to the show was because they were "drunk and bored," and "what else were [they] going to do?" Ugh. No. (Yeah, I still have no sympathy for these women - they were such assholes.)

9. Dancing Hands Woman + Friend - these two women stood next to us at the show on Friday night and were WAY into the music. Picture someone pretending to be playing the piano while they did their best to "sing from the abdomen." Yeah, it was like that. They made Shosh super uncomfortable and kept invading our personal space bubbles.

8. Baby Daddy Balloon Lady - there was a t-shirt contest on the first day, and we saw one woman with an XL white Hanes t-shirt with a yellow balloon stuffed under it to make her look pregnant. She'd written on the shirt with PUFFY PAINT "John Mayer is my baby daddy." Seriously. (I think this one bugged me more than it should have because I HATE the term "baby daddy" with a passion. I would like to punch the person who introduced that term.)

7. Aussie Girl - this girl was actually harmless, but a little crazy all the same... she was on our Jeep tour in the Bahamas, and we thought her a bit strange, but it was confirmed when our tour guide ate lunch with us and explained how the whole time she'd been in the Jeep with him, she was talking about how she wanted to meet him and marry him. Like, immediately. Which was even more strange for our tour guide, because while he was American, he was a 30 year old American male who had been living in the Bahamas for 5 years and had no idea who John Mayer was.

6. Waving Pool Couple - John Mayer went outside on deck for a while after his Sunday performance, and there were a bunch of people (us included) on the deck below. There was one couple (and one of their moms?) who literally stood on the side of the pool, staring up at him on the deck above, waving. For over 15 minutes. Just waving, and waiting for him to look down and... I don't know? Maybe they thought that if they stood there long enough, he'd ask them to come hang out with him. Because it's smart to reward crazy.

5. Asian Girl On Bus - this girl was tipsy on rum when we met her, which may be one reason she was so loose lipped about her run-ins with John Mayer. She was the classic "groupie," and not afraid to share. Pretty much, she followed Mayer around on one or two of his tours, called him and his bandmates by their first names (I find this only appropriate if you actually KNOW them personally, not if you've just seen them a lot), and essentially bragged about being "better fans" than everyone else. More power to you if you want to be that girl, but how 'bout you keep it to yourself on a bus full of strangers?

4. Crazy Hat Girl - she pushed her way up in front of us at the show on Friday night, wearing one of the free hats from the boat, and was another one of the gals who was way too into the music. Shosh says that she wasn't even drunk, which makes her comments about JM making eye contact with her all the more intriguing. She was overheard screaming the lyrics to every song (even the quiet ones) at the top of her lungs. And when JM gave a little anecdote about covering something up by being weird, she screamed "Oh MY GOD! Me too! We're soul mates! I told you we were soul mates! John!" Weird is right, sweetie. She also had her camera up taking photos the ENTIRE time, but I must admit that between the four of us, so did we. Hey, he's adorable!

3. Face Grab Lady - this lady could have been #1, but since it was a secondhand story, I put her at #3. Apparently, John Mayer was standing in one of the buffet lines and she walked up to him, and even though he was in mid-conversation, GRABBED HIS FACE to get his attention. Who does that??? This is not ok! INAPPROPRIATE.

2. Photo Lady - this lady was at least in her mid to late 50's and was traveling with her son and her sister. She had photos of JM from the pool deck where he'd been earlier, and was literally showing them to everyone and anyone who would look. She made it very well known that the Friday night show was her 18th show, her son's 13th, and her sister's 20th. Or something. She was also obsessed with meeting him, to the point where it was more than a little creepy. In hindsight, she could have just been over enthusiastic and drunk, but I'm going to stick with strange.

And... coming in at NUMBER 1:

1. The Tambourine Girl! This girl was ALL kinds of crazy - crazy fan, crazy drunk, and crazy just to be crazy! Our first encounter with her was her literally barreling by us at the Friday night show - wrist cast on one hand and LIGHT UP TAMBOURINE in the other. She was falling down drunk, screaming random things at inopportune times, and shaking her damn tambourine, effectively ruining songs for many people. Security tried to take away the tambourine to no avail, and at one point had to physically remove her from something she had climbed up onto. (I wonder how she broke her wrist...) She stayed around for the Brandi Carlile show after the JM show, and ruined the last song with her tambourine and shrieks of "YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL." We saw her several more times on the cruise, as she was in the same hall as us, and there was never a time where she wasn't belligerently drunk, with the tambourine or, later, the kazoo. Shosh got into a verbal argument with her once, yelling "Die Tambourine Girl" at her through our cabin door (a bit harsh, if you ask me, but Shosh doesn't have my patience). And on the last night, we had to call security on her when she was kicking and screaming to get into her room at 2am, once again drunk, and waking up most of the people in our hall. She had gotten locked out of her room because she was too drunk to use her key card, and was screaming at the top of her lungs and cursing at her "stupid fucking cow of a roommate" to "get off [her] lazy fat ass" and open the door. No joke. She was absolutely ridiculous, to the point where everyone on the boat knew who she was and disliked her.

(Note: After I originally wrote this blog, I felt sort of guilty that I was posting about this girl I'd never actually talked to... But then found out that there were more stories about her - including how she had hit some girl that tried to take away her tambourine. There were others, too, that I just can't remember. So, in case Tambourine Girl ever reads this - next time, please don't get that drunk, and please have respect for the people around you!)

Honorable Mentions:

Colbie Caillat: She gets an honorable mention because she was definitely super excited to meet JM. She tried to play it cool (which I totally understand, because why lump yourself in with the super overzealous fans?) but by doing so, she came off as kind of a bitch. Again, I sympathize, but I also think it's ok to geek out about stuff ever so often. Don't try to hide it, Colbie, we all saw you give him your number.

Generic crazy girls: There were a lot of girls on the boat that would get all decked out (we're talking heels, full make-up, etc) and would aimlessly wander around the boat not so discretely seeking out John Mayer. They tripped on stuff a lot, since they were constantly searching the crowd, and they forgot that (1) you're on a boat, it's moving, and (2) it's humid - your hair is never going to stay that way.